A Pantoum Poem

I was in no mood to write seriously this morning, as I was EXHAUSTED after our wild weekend. :) So here is a silly poem. Hopefully I'll have more intellectual pieces to share later on this week!

Progressive politics in the living room
House party drinks downed lightning speed
Obama gives us hope from doom
More wine, I chuckle, that’s what we need.

House party drinks downed lightning speed
New friends mix and mingle with old
More wine, I chuckle, that’s what we need
The Kennedys rock, we are again told.

New friends mix and mingle with old
We look to the next party place
The Kennedys rock, we are again told.
Inebriation shines in my face.

We look to the next party place
Kris invites us in for Long Island iced teas
Inebriation shines in my face
The sun sets behind the trees.

Kris invites us in for Long Island iced teas
Ali and I laugh wildly at small joys
The sun sets behind the trees
Our chatter increases in noise.

Ali and I laugh wildly at small joys
We hit up Whitetails to dance
Our chatter increases in noise
The night is left up to chance.

We hit up Whitetails to dance
Obama gives us hope from doom
The night is left up to chance
Progressive politics in the living room.

Alone--

This world in which we live
easily leads souls to
the darkness of Alone.

Society’s preoccupation with self
leaves behind
seekers of companionship.

Voices shouting silently
to the vacant wind,
only to be talking to themselves
as the echoes resound in repetition.

A dark sound,
flailing desperation
beneath the wideness of sky.

Apathy and Action

(This is a journal entry I just completed for my writing project.)

“The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.” Dante

Apathy angers me. I understand what leads people to that dangerous place… fear, disillusionment, a belief that the powers-that-be will never change. I have been there before. But, despite my fear that our country might be dominated by ignorance, I understand the necessity that I act, in hopes that others may follow my lead.

I have read parts of a book about the Holocaust (I think the title had something to do with the “common man), and the gist of it was the frightening reality that the people who became hardened Nazi soldiers began as common men. I then think on the human experiments, where researchers put everyday common folk to the test, to see how quickly and easily they could become torturers. The results were frightening as people willingly and obediently followed directions and shocked others to a deadly degree.

Back to now, back to my moral obligation to our world family, to our mother Earth, to my future children, to history in the making. Probably one of my biggest strengths, yet one of my deepest burdens, is the way I take on the weight of the world’s problems. My internal ache overtakes me, as I long for a way to make things right. How can we so easily venture into our hectic spoiled days, when humankind is hurting?

Because my mind can’t always handle this obsessive search for solutions that are beyond my ability, I have had to learn the art of taming my passion and the ability to approach problems practically. And so, I ask, what can I do? At this very moment in time, what power do I have to heal?

Action intimidates. It is certainly easier to let others do the worrying and the work. But, what if no one did the worrying and the work? Corruption would flourish, and humankind would suffer. I, for one, don’t want that on my conscience. And so, I will act.

summer nerd

The next four weeks I will be spending Mon-Thurs doing a "retreat" at Ferris State University for the Crossroads Writing Project. I am excited about this because it will surely help me grow as an educator, and on top of that, I actually get paid for it! As I still pay off my undergraduate debt, and after paying for graduate courses, it feels darn good to have someone pay ME to be a part of higher education.
Here are some details about it, for any of you oddly interested in my achievements. :)

The Crossroads Writing Project's mission is to promote exemplary instruction of writing by empowering teachers as writers, researchers and leaders.

Summer Institute

An intensive 16-day summer institute program where teachers demonstrate and share their best writing instructional strategies, practice being writers, and develop individual research projects.

shivering in june

Temps in the 50's, gray skies, and an incredible urge to cuddle up with my cats on the couch while drinking a hot cup of tea. This weather is certainly contributing to my hermiting tendencies of summer, almost to the point where I feel like a shut-in. Thank goodness for necessary obligations outside of the house.

Luckily tomorrow will be warm again, and we should see 70's from there on out. Last weekend I was in Kalamazoo, and my parents had the air conditioning on for the first part of my visit. I was cracking up, because I long for warmth and hate the a.c.. We have central air at our house too, but we rarely turn it on (usually only when my mom's here!). I'm an open-windows kind of girl, even on the days where the breeze barely blows. Another reason why today's coldness aggravates me. I also like exercising better in the heat, dripping sweat like a flood. Come on, summer, come back.

back on track

I am pleased to be heading to a movie at the State Theatre this afternoon with Ali. It has been way too long.

We will be watching "Son of Rambow", so stay tuned for a review.

Post-viewing critique: Actually, I won't be that critical, because I found it to be a pleasant viewing experience. It was amusing, moving, and quite odd. An appropriate movie for my slightly-removed-from-reality afternoon.

berry exciting

My very first strawberryUpdate: Eaten on June 16th, deliciously sweet!

natural morning

view from the campsite over Memorial Day weekend... this photo settles my mind and makes me want to live in a tent.

faith and frustration

So, around my school, I'm known as having some 'political smarts'. Yesterday, someone told me they were looking to get involved because they don't like the direction our country is going... and then this person said, "So tell me the truth-- Is Obama a Muslim?" Now, I of course managed to keep a semi-straight face and explain how right-wing emails get passed on full of lies, and how it is very easy to find out the facts by going to good news websites, etc. And I did a good job giving some facts about Obama, and convincing this person not to just believe everything they hear. But then, last night as I was trying to fall asleep, my blood started boiling. Because, why should it matter if Obama is a Christian or a Muslim or a Jew or a Buddhist?? Seriously, you should have seen the look on this person's face, full of absolute FEAR that someone could actually be a Muslim. I am utterly disappointed that the government has truly succeeded in convincing the population that anyone different could be a terrorist. Because this person I'm referring to is really a decent lady-- kind, funny, generous. But apparently she now has a recently-developed prejudice against Islam, and I place the blame for that on the government's scare tactic attempt to try and justify war in Iraq (which, by the way, how does Saddam=Bin Laden?). And probably the most frustrating part of it is the fact that prejudice lies deep within, and can you imagine the amount of healing this country needs if we are to successfully open people's minds and create an environment of acceptance? Sad. And probably more than anything-- embarrassing.

better than a chia pet, cuter than a gnome

I have never seen such a cool garden statue! It's telling, isn't it? One of my students' parents got it for me as an end-of-year gift; I'm pleased that she knew I'd be someone who would appreciate such an odd creation! He was sitting on our counter for the weekend, because I simply enjoyed looking at him each time I passed through the kitchen.

motions of the mind

zig and zags, loops and spirals, darting this way and that... despite physical exhaustion and sleepy eyes, my thoughts don't want to stop. perhaps this is because I should be focusing solely on report cards?

The sky grew eerily dark early this evening, and somehow I feel comforted by its uneasiness. The pre-rain gloom when the air feels thick and flowers smell their finest. Tom Waits, Melissa Ferrick, and Rusted Root have been my musical friends since I sat down at the computer.

School ends this week, and I feel a premature nostalgia because I absolutely love my first graders this year. They have become such responsible, open-minded, peace-loving, intelligent students... it's been amazing. And of course I hope that it just means that I continue to improve as a teacher, and that next year's class will be just as fabulous, but I have to accept the reality that this group is probably just a special group that comes along only once in a great while.

Almost-summertime makes me anxious... in a predominantly positive way that gets me making plans and getting outside. But there are always those fears of summertime loneliness. School is a built-in social network, and sometimes I become a summer hermit. I've overcome my phone phobia, for the most part, but I certainly get caught up in the virtual world, where I don't have to actually face anyone. So, my goal this summer is to do more face-to-face interaction. And of course that will be necessary if I'm going to be as active as I hope.

One thing I miss about living in Ann Arbor is summer's active inaction. Rather than lounging in the yard at home reading, I would head to the Diag to lay out on the lawn reading. Ultimate people-watching opportunities, and it gave me that group dynamic. I imagine that was one of the draws of Ghana as well-- socializing without the awkward planning component. I often become desperate for socialization, and I'll find myself emailing people in the effort to make a plan to meet up. How incredibly satisfying it would be to simply walk out the door and find myself amidst many intriguing individuals, with the choice to interact or simply be. Nothing forced, no "Hi, how are you?" necessary unless desired.

I should do report cards now.

the cheery competitor

While attempting my first 5K in a long time, I found myself running beside a nice bald guy, and he kept me running faster than I would have run on my own. (I did indeed meet my goal of 25 minutes or less, by hitting it right on the nose-- 25!) Anyhow, once again a part of me surfaced that I've recognized in the past-- I am a positive force on the trail (whether on bike or foot), and usually that great attitude is met with a less-than-bubbly reception. Today was no exception. I started to babble about the lack of mile markers, and my bald friend said, "No words; just breathe," in a kind tone that seemed to be an effort to guide me to victory. In the past, it hasn't always been kindness-- At Ore to Shore last year, as we climbed an endless hill on the road, I cheerily exclaimed, "We love hills!", with a smile that was met by many groans and cringes. Most amusing was my discovery that both my father and Ali are also optimistic beams of happiness while racing (long races), trying to motivate fellow competitors and focus on finishing strong. If only I were a lot tougher and my dad a little tougher, then Ali, my dad, and I could happily push each other to victory! :)