I...feel free

Signs of summer... fresh air through screens, happy music blasting, bicycle rides to everywhere, smiles, lilac smells, motivation, local produce, rainy warmth, dirty contentment, pleasantly aching muscles.

to do or not to do

to do: run, bicycle, do push-ups, do crunches, write the beginnings of a story, research bilingual education (dual immersion?), write new cover letter, do more laundry, do dishes, fill the goodwill bin, write Alena a letter (yes, by hand)

It is so easy to think of the many things waiting to engage my brain and body. I'm not even imagining my school 'to-do' list, because that stuff will 'get done' at school. However, these household 'to-dos' will not get done. Why? Because I find zero motivation after waking up to a snow-covered car. I feel no purposeful energy after coming home from a half-day training that covered everything that was already covered in the previous training. I lack any sort of drive to accomplish things when all I want to do is snuggle up under a blanket and find a relatively empty contentment... as in an EMPTY mind. I get tired of the daily racing-mind frustrations and today I opt for the opposite extreme, which sounds soooo incredibly lazy. Yet, on this COLD mid-April day, I am quite okay with my choice to do absolutely *nothing*. I'll get to my to-do list... tomorrow.

p.s. It helps to have a kitty and a hubby feeling the exact same way. The extent of our workout today will be the creation of a thai curry dinner (with some needy meowing thrown in by the feline friend).

please excuse this blog for hibernating (we're back!)

Already mid-April? Time has been moving quickly, and of course, as we move into warm weather, my brain gets all discombobulated, thoughts going every which way. That fresh air rush of emotions to the mind... making me happy with a bittersweet base. We are in a good place.

Crazy job that I love in a crazy district that I laugh about and have learned to navigate. I've made a few friends at work, including one fantastic partner-in-crime. We seek out the good in our middle school world, encouraging the kiddos and spreading a 'positive' vibe. I often say to people that I'm lucky I'm old, and that I have years of experience, because otherwise this job would have suffocated me. But instead I was able to make it my own, even with no support or direction. Hmmm... I suppose it helped that I had the Abu Dhabi experience first-- couldn't get any more disorganized than that!

My hubby and the Bilbo cat snuggle me regularly, so I can say that home life is fantastic. Nate has been substitute teaching this year, and he is really good at it. He also scored high enough on the LSAT to qualify for a full-ride to law school at Cooley next year, so that will be a new adventure. Bilbo has gone from being the under-the-bed-only cat to a cat that cries sadly when I leave and sprints over to me when I get home. Mr. Bilbo Baggins Boy is quite possibly my best friend.

Friends! It's been especially fun to make some new down-to-earth friends here in Grand Rapids. People here seem more inclined to venture out or come over or have us over, and we do wine nights and game nights and bar nights. I'm definitely excited for this warmer weather so we can do more bicycling to friends' houses. We biked to a fun bar last weekend, and it was great to get the exercise and also feel that we were saving gas. Nate has been obnoxious (but yes, admirably so) all winter with his "I bicycle to school" gig; he refused to get dropped off at his sub jobs and instead opted to ride his bike ALL WINTER LONG. Awesome, most def, but obnoxious because he simply put me to shame. Maybe now warm weather will help me redeem myself.

I've also never fully known how nice it is to have family close by... Nate's folks are a half-hour away, my parents an hour away, and Nate's brother's family lives within walking distance. And it's just perfect. I feel a little lucky that we did our crazy brief UAE stint-- It made 'this' all the more valuable; 'this' being our space in time here in lower Michigan.


p.s. Follow this link to find a yummy recipe blog as well as a chance to enter and win the give-away; I was kind of excited about the mug I could win (it looks like a large one, quite pleasing to the hand)... So, add your comment to this blog entry, and we'll see who wins. The oopsitsvegan folks live in Ann Arbor, my old college town. :)
http://oopsitsvegan.blogspot.com/2011/03/national-pancake-dayand-give-away.html

...and a happy new year

2010 comes to a close, and we are in a happy place that we never were really trying to find... which is a welcomed surprise. My job is fine (both vague and VAST, but I'm working on defining it), we have an awesome apartment in the Heritage Hill neighborhood of Grand Rapids, we got a new cat Bilbo, Nate took the LSAT (awaiting results) and is subbing, and we are super close to family and friends on both sides. I guess sometimes surprises are good. :)

residual anxiety

Lindsey asked me today if I have "residual anxiety" from my UAE experience. And I think it's funny that I didn't realize it until now. Let's look at the things I've been worrying about...

*Will the principal know I am coming on Wednesday?

*Will I have any guidance whatsoever?

*What if everyone hates that I don't speak Spanish as fluently as the other teachers?

*What if my paperwork doesn't get processed and I don't get paid?

*What can I plan for the day in order to be 'prepared' in every single possible scenario upon my arrival?

But don't worry, because I'm no longer worrying. After emailing the HR person to inquire about the situation Wednesday, I have learned that the Response to Intervention teachers (that's me!) will be meeting with the RTI Coordinator before going to our sites. We will get the full scoop on job expectations. (Wow, you mean they'll actually make sure I understand my job?)

And after Lindsey pointed out my anxiety (and commented how I have never shown anxiety in the past), I realized that indeed Abu Dhabi still haunts my brain, and I can leave it at that. It can haunt all it wants, but my mind is moving on to better things.

the little things

cat stevens, fall leaves, smiling hubby, crisp almost-arm-swinging speedwalks, contemplative jogs, interviews already, kitty cat craziness, family time in both kzoo and gr, the lovely niece nora racing 'round the block, not being in the uae, songs songs songs, chill of winter waiting in the wings, new friends that were old friends (eric!), hopcat drinks, the best salads in the world, friends forever funny (jenny!), the giving tree (thanks to the ali b girl), and being 'me'.

culturally speaking...

The following are things I heard in the UAE news, stories from fellow teachers' blogs, or tales from friends currently teaching in Abu Dhabi... I've changed all friends' names to either John or Jane to protect identities. It sounds strange to say that, but it's probably the reality that frightened me most-- that the UAE government seems to be able to do whatever it wants. It is most unsettling. As Nate says, even though here in the States the government upsets us on a regular basis, at least we have the "ideals" as a foundation... you know like free speech, innocent-until-proven-guilty, and all that. And so, here we go...

**John gets in a car accident (not his fault). The police say he has two choices... He can accept blame and pay a huge fine, or he can deny fault and spend a few nights in jail while they investigate.

**Jane gets hit, spit on, bitten, and her hair pulled during her regular work day. And the crazy thing is that this happens to other Janes too.

**John is asked to remove student work from the walls, because the principal finds it ugly.

**One day, a student accused John of hitting him in the eye. Luckily, another student knew enough English to say it wasn't true. The Arabic teacher told John, "God saved you today." The Arabic teacher said that if the police had come, they would have believed the lying student.

**A couple of Janes walked out of their school the other day because they have had no support. In this school kids have ganged up on other students, a student's eye was stabbed with a pencil and gushed blood, students climbed up dangerous shelving, and the Janes work together to cover classrooms because no one wants to be left alone with the students. They are afraid for their safety and the students' safety.

**John had a 45 minute meeting with his principal. The principal told him that he cannot use "discipline" or "consequences" in his classroom... CANNOT.

**A journalist spoke out about the practices of a newspaper (sexual favors in exchange for work, etc.)... He, the journalist, is being charged with "disparaging over the internet an English-language newspaper and accusing its management of being unethical and immoral."

**An Emirati man is sentenced to three months in jail for having consensual sex. He was accused of kidnapping and raping a Tunisian woman, but the courts evidently did not believe her.

(There are sooo many stories like the final one, even regarding young boys/girls being raped and then being blamed. Quite eye-opening, since the UAE is a very "progressive" middle-eastern country. I recommend keeping up on the crime section at www.gulfnews.com, simply because it can be both fascinating and frightening.)